The Arransian Royal Wedding - Friday 21 October 2005Friday 21st October turned out to be a beautiful, sunny Autumn day for the wedding of Princess Fiona and Alex Morton, with the temperature in Danby reaching 63° F in the afternoon. In response to public pressure, the government had agreed to make the day a public holiday, and over half a million people lined the streets of the city, while others watched on television at home or in pubs and bars. The wedding was an essentially private ceremony held in the chapel of Danby Castle, but it was televised live. It was attended by a large number of foreign heads of state including President Jackson of Brunswick, Princess Catrina of Serenity and Crown Prince Johnathon of Denhulme. There was remarkably little prurience in the press about the fact that the wedding was taking place after Fiona’s pregnancy had been announced. It had long been common in Arransia for couples to “go steady” but only tie the knot once a baby was on the way, and indeed it was pointed out that the Chancellor, the serious-minded Mrs Bradshaw, had had her first child in 1971 four and a half months after her wedding. A week before the wedding, the couple had given a television interview to a sympathetic presenter in which they came across as surprisingly normal and obviously extremely fond of each other, although it reminded everyone that Fiona had a small squeaky voice that was somewhat at odds with her appearance. Fiona had deliberately asked for the ceremony to be devoid of military display, and this was achieved with the exception of a guard of honour dressed as 17th century musketeers. Many naval personnel derived some wry amusement from seeing Admiral Leslie, the Admiral of the Fleet, who was famously vain about his dress uniform, wearing a morning suit. Fiona wore a low-cut cream silk wedding dress which revealed that her pregnancy had caused her to “blossom” somewhat. Her father, King Malcolm VII, who had been very ill with cancer, had recovered sufficiently to be able to walk her down the aisle with the aid of a walking stick, which was quite moving. The best man was Neil Williamson, Alex Morton’s childhood friend and the lead guitarist from Lost Patrol. The ceremony was conducted by Cardinal Thomas Hay, the Archbishop of Danby, who preached a somewhat overlong sermon about the sanctity of marriage, which many felt was aimed more at the Pope than the happy couple. Fiona looked blissfully happy throughout the proceedings, which some unkindly suggested was due to a prior inhalation of the best Terrapin weed, but those who could recognise the signs said her eyes proved this was not the case. When the couple emerged from the chapel, after the exchange of rings, the church bells throughout Arransia were rung for fifteen minutes – the first time this had happened since Fiona’s christening in 1972. After the ceremony, the couple did a five-mile procession through the streets of Danby in an open horse-drawn landau, greeted throughout by cheering crowds. During the procession, a solitary R-16 flying boat from Skelwick, piloted by Lieut-Commander Shirley Beaton, flew over Danby and dropped a shower of biodegradable white paper rose petals. Lieut-Commander Beaton then executed a text-book landing on the Esk and the crew were among the guests at the formal dinner that evening. This was not televised or recorded, but it was reported that Neil Williamson delivered a very funny speech in which the gentle gibes at royal stuffiness were pitched at just the right level – he even occasionally had the King laughing out loud. Some controversy was caused by the invitation to the wedding of the Serenity Island peace activist Eric Troyer, who was also a singer and after the wedding meal participated in an acoustic duet with Alex, which had some of the military guests spluttering into their post-prandial whisky. President Jackson of Brunswick had perhaps wisely retired to bed by this point. Alex also premièred a touching, if veiled, love song to Fiona called Girl of the Sunset, which was planned to appear on Lost Patrol's next album, and certainly brought a tear to her eye on this occasion. Although it had been officially discouraged, the destroyer HMS Brodie, moored in Beadnell harbour, fired a 19-gun salute to mark the event. There was indignation when a foreign newspaper reported the flypast as being performed by “a preserved flying boat” which required the commander of Coastal Forces to fire off a letter pointing out that these aircraft were still a key part of Arransia’s defences and praising the dedication and professionalism of the flight crews and maintenance personnel. On the following Saturday afternoon, the couple flew by scheduled flight to the Terrapin Islands for two weeks’ honeymoon accompanied by Neil Williamson and his wife Sue, who is Alex’s sister. Some paparazzi pictures of an obviously slightly pregnant-looking Fiona in a bikini surfaced, but they revealed nothing particularly embarrassing and most people thought it was a good thing their Princess looked healthily curvy. The wedding caused a slightly awkward situation in South Holburn. Clearly Brunswick was not going to grant even a local public holiday for a foreign royal wedding, but most workplaces were closed anyway, and the event was celebrated with even more enthusiasm than in Arransia proper, with most towns and villages decked with flags and bunting. The church bells were rung in South Holburn, too, as ecclesiastically it was still regarded as part of Arransia. There was no trouble apart from some drunken rowdiness late at night, and someone repainting a city name sign for Scaggleby as “Fionasburgh”, but it underlined how the local loyalties very much lay across the border. Commentary In the 20th century, Arransia had tended somewhat to take her royal family for granted, with the general view being that monarchy must be a good thing because Brunswick wasn’t one. There was virtually no overt republicanism - opinion polls asking the question whether it would be a good thing for Arransia to become a republic generally getting well under 10% support. However, there was nothing like the close public interest in the royal family that is found in the UK. The fact that the royal family on the whole lived dull and scandal-free lives probably helped maintain this state of affairs. Some eyebrows were raised in 1969 when King Malcolm married an actress who had a handful of (tame) nude scenes preserved on celluloid, but Imogen proved to be a gracious and diplomatic Queen Consort and the excitement rapidly died down. Fiona was the first heir to the Arransian throne to attend university, gaining a third-class degree in history (equivalent to a British 2:2) from Sinclair College, Aldminster in 1994. In her early and mid-twenties she had a number of clearly unsuitable liaisons, including one with a champion motorcycle racer and one with a much older playboy. She also made clear her dislike of military pomp, refusing to take on any ceremonial posts such as Admiral of the Tean, and, while she enjoyed horse-riding, never went fox or wolf hunting (which her father, a nervous rider, had never done either). All this gave her a slightly exaggerated reputation as one or both of a wild child and a left-wing rebel. However, it was notable that she never made any clear public pronouncements on anything beyond her liking for animals, old buildings and unspoiled landscapes. In reality, those who know her say she is actually a far more complex and thoughtful person than the public image. She remains very close to her mother and at times finds the burden of being Arransia’s future Queen daunting. Her great love is painting, and she has proved adept at producing the formulaic romantic landscapes under threatening skies which are what most Arransians regard as high art. Some of her pictures have been sold for charity for over $25,000. She took on the project of restoring the part-derelict old royal hunting lodge at Spynie in Pentmark, and in return for a charitable donation produced a painting of men working on the project which now serves as the inn sign for the Mason’s Arms in the town. She is tall and gangly and has only partially inherited her mother’s good looks – while undoubtedly attractive she does not qualify as conventionally pretty. She does, however, have a magnificent head of dark auburn hair which falls below her waist when she lets it down. She is a confident driver, and has passed her advanced test, but chooses a top-of-the-range AMC 500 V6 Coupé rather than an out-and-out sportscar. Apparently she has been stopped by the traffic police on a number of occasions for speeding but always sent on her way – Paul Nordstrom and his predecessors know very well that booking a member of the royal family would not be good publicity. Alex Morton is undeniably a very charismatic figure, an internationally successful rock star, and someone voted in 2004 Arransia’s most handsome man. But he makes no secret of his strong Christian beliefs and, while he has a sense of humour, enjoys a drink and drives the hairiest MacNabb sports car, does have a distinct streak of earnestness. His songs tend to hint at important messages rather than putting them across explicitly, and he has always been guarded in his public pronouncements. In fact they seem to be a well-suited couple, and Alex seems to have persuaded Fiona that if she doesn’t take being Crown Princess too gravely there is actually a lot of enjoyment to be had from it – it is up to her to make the rules rather than just following the path laid down by others. Hence her very deliberate stage-managing of the ceremonial of the wedding. Fiona and the rest of the royal family were surprised and gratified by the positive public reaction to the wedding, which allows her to face the future with much more confidence. Arransians always warm to people of independent mind who don’t simply follow rules and the publicity and reporting surrounding the wedding have clearly established Fiona as someone of this cast. It seems that the wily Admiral Leslie will need to mount a charm offensive, though. Postscript: on 25th March, 2006, Fiona gave birth to a healthy 7 lb 9 oz baby boy who was named Peter James Alexander Morton Fraser. It was a natural childbirth after a brief and straightforward labour. The formal christening ceremony rather pointedly was held a month later in Scaggleby Cathedral. Despite several press reports that she and Alex Morton did not seem to be spending much time together, in October 2006 it was announced that Fiona was expecting her second child. On Thursday 24 May 2007, she gave birth to a healthy baby daughter weighing a very bonny 9 lb 5 oz, who was named Alexandra Margaret Emilia.
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